January 20, 2014


Few days ago my drawing courses teacher told me to decide what 'program' will I take in uni later.
Since I think I want to be a designer, I have to prepare it from now, butttttt I still dont know between Fashion Designer, Interior Designer, Product Designer, or Visual Communication Designer I want to be.

To be honest, since I was a child I never thought that I want to be a designer, I don't even know that there are so many kind of designer :O. I thought there is only fashion designer in this world lol how pathetic.


I started to 'curious' about photography world when I was 6th grader, start to capture things with my mom's digital camera or my 2MP phone camera, I capture sun and sky every time I was in outdoor, capture dragonfly that always perch on my balcony, capture water in water sink, capture rain and I really feel like pro that time HEHE. 
I haven't deleted it :3

And when I was in junior high school, I asked my mom to buy a DSLR for me. After so many time I ask her, finally we decided to buy it with half with my money and half with my mom's money :'D.

But my mom told me that photography can't be a job, it's just a hobby, and yess I dont want to be a photographer too, I realized that it just a hobby.

And then she told me to be a Visual Communication Designer (but my mom still give a choice to me whether if I like the other kind of design), and that's the reason why now I took a drawing course.

My days on that drawing course is just "let-it-flow", I just draw what my teacher told me. Although, actually I never feel that my drawing is good x(
I never feel so excited (note please, not excited doesnt mean I dont like it, i just feel "biasa-biasa-aja") with that drawing things, and I feel like I am not confident enough to be a designer with my drawing skill :( 
        Umm, okay, actually I started to draw since I was kid, draw the fairly odd parents characters (since it used to be my fav cartoon and it is so easy to draw) in a small piece of paper and feeling so proud with the result, it seems so similiar with the real nyehehehe, draw caricatures ( I dont even remember this but my mom said I was._. I think my mom saw me drawing caricatures in her dream :|), and join drawing extracurricular in my elementary school.
easy huh? they dont even have a neck hehe
But, I never feel I love drawing, I just do it, dont know why._. and again, my drawing is not good-_-

But I dont have the other choice, I dont like the other occupations, like doctor, accountant, lawyer, etc. Emmmm, It's really not 'me'.
So I think become a designer is the best la.
I start to try to love drawing&design things, but I haven't 'succeed' to love it, then now my course teacher told me to decided what kind of designer I want to be, ughhhhhhhh, Im so confused.

I know that Im only 10th grader, there are still 2 years for me to choose that uni things, but as i said before, I have to start prepared it from now and 2 years is not-so-long time for prepared that thing.
I think I need someone to push me to choose one of those kinds of design because I'm "oke-oke-aja" for every kind of design, I really don't know what I love, whats my passion is. 

Oh God... Please guide me and help me to decided what am I going to be... <- anti-klimaks

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